May 22nd, 2023

Dear friends,

Today is Rosh Chodesh Sivan. If you were with the Jews who left Egypt thousands of years ago, it would be a day that transformed you.

YOU WOULD HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF, “IS THIS ME?”

A HOLY NATION
A KINGDOM OF KOHANIM

No one ever heard words like these. Would you know what to do with them? Could you imagine yourself feeling that the role is WAY too big for you? That you aren’t Moshe – you are just you?

TAKE CARE OF HOW YOU TALK ABOUT YOURSELF, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE YOU GOT.

The way the calendar works necessitates this past week’s parshah, Bamidbar (literally, “in the desert”) always be read before Shavuos. Its topic is the way individuality works in Judaism, although these are not the words used, the words convey... YOU ARE PART OF A GROUP, AND YOU ARE ALSO YOU

The theme of the Parshah is the way G-d directed the Jews to arrange their encampment as they travelled through the desert. They were to divide into four sections, one in each direction of a moving square, with the Levites, Moshe and Aharon, and the sanctuary in the center. It wasn’t an ordinary trek. They only moved by Divine signal, and they had no way of predicting when that would happen. When the cloud moved, trumpets were blown and the procession began. The first group to move were the tribes who would normally be camped in the East, the side from which the sun is first visible. These leaders were Yehudah, Yisachar and Zevulun. Yehuda was the archetype of a leader. A true leader has a sense of destiny and is willing to do what it takes to bring it about. He travelled with Yisachar, the scholar of the tribes, and Zevulun, who would later be the tribe that succeeded commercially more than any other. Interestingly, the pasuk doesn’t use the word “and” when mentioning Yisachar and Zevulun. It if did, you may get the idea that Yisachar is the star of the show and Zevulun would appear with the lines “and also featuring” right above his name. It isn’t that way. Your destiny and mine demand leadership in which moving down the path Hashem has cut out for you is supported by the scholarship that lets you know that you are in reality, and material commitment that tells you that there are people out there who know what the material world is meant to do an to be.

The next group was Reuven, Shimon and Gad. They normally would be encamped in the south, the part of the encampment with the most light. What made Reuven a person of light is that he did Tshuvah. Tshuvah is light! It is the result of seeing things as they are, and not hiding. Accepting your past but not letting it define your present and future isn’t easy, nor is it expected to be easy. Reuven travelled with Gad, who was one of the strongest tribes. The big impediment to dong Tshuvah isn’t philosophical. It is the difficulty of redefining your priorities, of letting go of habits of long standing, and most of all of having to resist self-justification. You have to be strong.  It also requires the tenacity of Shimon.

The third group were the tribes who are Rachel’s descendants, Binyamin, Menasha and Ephraim. While Leah was a visionary, Rachel was a doer. She was able to contend with Lavan, with her own longing to marry Yaakov and with the realization that once she gave her sister the signs that she arranged with Yaakov (to prevent Lavan her father from fooling Yaakov by having Leah dress as the heavily veiled bride so that Yaakov would marry her instead of Rachel) there would be no going back. They were fighters. Binyamin is Mordechai’s ancestor. Mordechai wouldn’t bend or bow to Haman. He also wouldn’t just stay home. He had to raise the consciousness of his people to what was taking place around them, and to make them realize where their choices had taken them.
The Tribe of Dan, accompanied by Asher and Naphtali were last. Dan was given the task of looking out for anyone who was lost, wandering, and for whom the presence of the pillar of cloud during the day, and pillar of fire, just didn’t register. To him, one day was the previous day’s twin and tomorrow had no additional promises to break. Dan could “find” them. He was arguably the first kriuiv professional….

While all of this is interesting in figuring out the sociology of the Jewish people, the main message is simple.

It tells you:

BE YOU!

Be yourself and stop trying to be OTHERS who may be smarter, more beautiful, more socially graceful, more committed to Halacha...BUT NEVER YOU.

Your specific way of being a member of a Holy Nation and A National of Kohanim is one of a kind.

You can be as righteous as Moshe, but you can never be Moshe….
This means that you should learn what your heart desires, let yourself be the reason the Torah tells you that you can be.
All the best for a Shavuos where you dedicate yourself still again. You are willing not only to accept the Torah without asking “Will it let me be me”?
Instead, you will ask, “Can I take the real me with me on this journey?”
Believe it or not, if you can hear your deepest voice, the answer is “We will do and we will hear”.

Love,
Tziporah