Chukat

Dear friends,
 
Those of you who like history are probably a large minority, and I assume those who like paying attention to dates may turn this into a smaller minority. In Nissan, 2448 we were redeemed from Egypt, and six months later on the 11th of Tishrei, we were commanded to build the Mishkan, the sanctuary in the desert. On the 11th of Nissan in the following year, the Mishkan was inaugurated. It was a date that (believe it or not) affects you.
 
On that day, Hashem revealed 8 chapters of what would be included in the Torah, one of which was the chapter about the laws of the Red Cow.
 
(Actually, now that I put it in caps, some of you may confuse it with the ridiculously expensive eatery on the roof of the Plaza, but no, that is not what I am talking about).
 
The ritual is esoteric. It’s hard to wrap your mind around the concept of spiritual defilement passing via physical means, and much harder to understand how this ritual releases you from spiritual defilement. This is not the main paradox; the deepest mystery of all is how it defiles the man who (after the cow was killed), burned the cow and reduced it to ashes.  These ashes, which are used to sprinkle on people who are ritually defiled in order to release them from that state so that they are pure, make the one involved in the process of creating them ritually defiled.  What do the ashes do? Defile or purify?
 
This paradox is so profound that other than Moshe (to whom the Midrash says was told by Hashem Himself the meaning of the paradox 6 months after the ritual was revealed), no one else ever was able to crack this particularly hard nut. The merit that Moshe had, his deep humility, is what opened the door for him. In Yismach Moshe a fascinating inclusion is mentioned.  Hashem revealed the secret to one other person – Korach! He was on a very high level at the time, and it makes his competition with Moshe more understandable. It also tells you how far someone can fall.  There will be another inclusion. The Midrash Rabba says that the last generation before the final geulah will also know the secret of the red cow.
 
You may be wondering at this point why you are reading this letter. What I am writing doesn’t seem on the surface to have much to do with your life.
 
You are wrong.
 
But to understand its relevance, you have to look at the distant past. In Gan Eden there were two unique trees, the tree of life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. These two trees were meant to be seen as part of one Divine act of creativity. The tree of life opened the door to being genuinely attached to the Life Force of all the worlds. The tree of knowledge of good (and also of evil….) had the potential to open the door for humans to choose illusion over reality and evil over good. Eating of the tree of knowledge also effected the tree of life. The tree of life, so to speak, was now lacking a branch, the branch that could have/should have, been the one that hints at making this world one in which something of Gan Eden could be felt and seen.
 
Hashem’s original plan, which was for this world literally to be Paradise, a place where His light and goodness could be experienced physically by the humans He created, seemed at first blush to be foiled.
 
It’s not the case at all. Quite the opposite.
 
You and all of us all have areas of life in which we have to cope with darkness. For some, it is loneliness, friendlessness and feeling alienated from the people who crowd you and who at the same time subtly exclude you. For others it is overload, leaving feeling depleted before you even begin, and finding your life overwhelmingly guilt provoking as you can’t possibly do what you genuinely think you could/should be doing; you may find yourself comparing yourself to The Others who cope. For still others the issue may be health, which renders every plan you had before you became ill seem to be irrelevant. There may be some of you who face financial pressures that will never really be resolved without major miracles, and the result forces you into living an entirely different life than the one you would have chosen. Parents can be difficult, addicted to the model of criticism that they also may have experienced, leaving you to feel vulnerable and “unparented”.  There are many forms of darkness. The yetzer hara has his own brand of darkness, and that too is part of the picture.
If you overcome the illusion of darkness being the entire picture, and you find some light in your capacity to respond, you have now reversed the seeming failure of the Great Plan. You can find yourself attached to Hashem finding that He is your lifesaver. Every Jew has this ability.
When you do this, you have taken what is defiled and turned it into purity. You may still have the same kind of suffering, and it may lead you to feel that you are stuck. This isn’t illusion. It may be the final step that you have to deal with to bring you to the highest state of purity that goes further than this world. You have taken that which defiles, and made it a source of purity.
 
If you don’t know where to start, take a dose of Moshe with you – the bit of humility that you have that makes you able to see yourself not as “less”, but to see Hashem as more.
 
I mentioned this before, but my daughter Devorah is organizing a trip to Kivrei Tzadikim most focused on shidduch-oriented tefillah, but also on sharing with other women the kind of energy that this sort of journey provides. Please use the form on the Contact page to request more information.
 
Love
Tziporah