Betrayal

Dear dear friends- and at this point I realize that some of you no longer consider me your friend, or a friend of the community.
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I have a confession to make. I wrote my last letter when I was suffering from the “Say it isn’t so” syndrome.
More confession. I wasn't fully informed. Until I heard the dayanim who investigated the abuse had found the accusations to be true, I could not allow myself to let the emotions that I now feel to surface but, the reason that I don’t blindly trust anti-religious journalists is not because they don’t wear the right kippahs or that the stories they choose are juicy. Their policy of denigrating the religious community (and not only the chareidim but also the “settlers” and any one else who is not them) is not a deep secret. Don’t simplify a complex issue.

I have read Walder’s books to my children for decades. I loved them and their basic message; kids have something to say; the world can be harsh, but it is a good place. His life turned out to be a ghastly rebuttal of everything he ever wrote. The next thing I felt was betrayal. Not just by Walder
You are all right - there is too much silence. Betrayal puts the victims (and those of you who identify with the victims, which is where we all should be) into an impossible situation. You belong to a community (or trust an individual). He harmed you beyond repair. Beyond words. Beyond anything that you can absorb. You are alone with your secretI should have said more about this fact.

Torah is the moral compass of the world. The very concept that there is something horrific about sexual abuse begins in the Torah. Rape is equated with murder. All of Western values that remain true (and as you all know, the ship is close to sinking) are taken from the Torah. The community has sometimes failed and lost its way. The issue is not the Torah itself.

On a stronger note, the horrors of social media have come right into my own life. The semi-anonymity provided by sitting behind a screen allows for mob mentality, lynching and lack of human respect. You should all know better than that. It is not for nothing that the gedolim rally against it. Shaming in public can kill. I stand by that statement. I hope you will understand why I therefore prefer to discontinue the 'discussion' in this format. Please contact me personally.

My dear friends who care so much about their fellow Jews and about the truth, your outrage has touched me deeply and I commit to being at the forefront of a new era of honesty in this difficult and painful arena.
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Tziporah