Dear friends,

It’s almost here.     
                                                  
Experiencing Yom Kippur on its own terms can feel heavy, guilt provoking, and oppressive. That’s only true when you let confessing your (already existent) faults somehow morph into being major Issues. The truth is that Issues (and their cousin, Baggage) are there whether or not you deal with them. Confessing that they are real is the first step towards putting all the luggage down.

The process begins the day before Yom Kippur. When you eat, of course the taste, smell and texture of the food talks to your body. This is how Hashem designed His world. Now, let them talk to your soul as well. Let yourself say the blessing and mean what you say. If, for instance you take a coffee as you head out, when you say, “Blessed are you……who brought everything into existence through His word” and think about the implications of these words, the effect is to atone for the sins that you may have done that involve food in the course of the year. Impulsive eating, non-kosher eating, eating without a bracha, all build your identity.  They make you see yourself as a smart animal, not a truly human being in God's image. You say a bracha and it all changes. This is what brings you into the spirit of Yom Kippur. You have taken a basic simple activity – eating - and treated it as you should instead of separating you from Hashem, eating led you to Him. It became a bridge instead of a wall.

THE BAD NEWS
If you ignore your faults, they continue existing. They lead you to disliking yourself, and worse still, living with hopes of somehow escaping at least briefly the tedium and stress of life. 

THE GOOD NEWS
Your faults are what makes your life real, challenging, and (believe it or not) happy.  You make choices and the good ones take you further than you ever could have gone without it being tested. The angels are static. They are compared to soldiers standing at attention, always ready to move at the commander’s word. You are mobile. The person you were yesterday maybe you, but it may or may not be the finished product. Humans are “walking” constantly. The main challenge is noticing that you are actually making choices, and that the choices you make today are authoring who you will be on your last day. There's increasing evidence that the payoff of working past age 65 may go beyond income. Some studies have linked working past retirement with better health and longevity. A 2016 study of about 3,000 people, published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, suggested that working even one more year beyond retirement age was associated with a 9% to 11% lower risk of dying during the 18-year study period, regardless of health.
A 2015 study of 83,000 older adults over 15 years, published in the CDC journal Preventing Chronic Disease, suggested that, compared with people who retired, people who worked past age 65 were about three times more likely to report being in good health and about half as likely to have serious health problems, such as cancer or heart disease.

Other studies have linked working past retirement age with a reduced risk of dementia and heart attack. You may be wondering why I am sharing this info with people who are 40 years too young for it to have any practical application. The reason is that it seems to me that fear of work is on the rise. 
T'shuvah is work! It’s the kind of work that generates fulfillment, and gives you guaranteed success (since t'shuvah “works” even if you fail in the future, as long as you are being real when you endeavor to change, you broke down a fence. There is no guarantee that you won’t rebuild it, but there is a guarantee that you became closer to Hashem by at least trying to tear it down.

THE BEST NEWS 
The holiness of the day is often felt at its very first moment, when you go to shul for Kol Nidrei. Annulling vows is important, but you may be wondering why it feels so deep, so awesome. The reason is, the Kabbalistic work Matok MiDvash says, is that this brings about a parallel annulment so to speak of Hashem’s vows, In the second paragraph of SHEMA you read about Hashem’s covenant. He will draw us close with peace, prosperity, and a lifestyle that resonates with your sense of How Things Should Be. 
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KEEP READING. 
You will get to a place that says that Hashem will never give up. He will push you to the wall again and again until you can bring yourself back to Him to His Torah.
 
THE BEST NEWS OF ALL!
Hashem is on your team, willing and ready to make your journey less difficult, more challenging, more invigorating, more peaceful all at the same time.
 
Love and gmar chatima tovah,
Tziporah  

Dear friends,

How was your Rosh Hashanah?

The answer that you give may surprise you by its overt dishonesty. 

If your answer focused on how the meals went (and yes, there are three different kinds of answers to this loaded question) or if you are in a life situation where you have the means to have some guests, this question includes how you felt during the planning of the 4 meals, shopping (which can be elating or draining depending on your stress level and on your budget), serving the guests while hoping that somehow the atmosphere will be warm, and that the people who are with you will feel your care. 

If you in Plan B, meaning that you are in a life situation where you are a guest, or this includes how you felt about yourself and others as you were examining your phone hoping that someone who you really want to spend time with invites you, and that if they do that they somehow strike the right balance in making you feel visible and welcome without leaving you feeling like either a burden or a piece of furniture.

If you are living at home, was the holiday as inspired as you wish it was? Did you wonder exactly what your role is as a (gulp) adult?) Your answer may have to do with the way you felt in shul. Did you have a good place, was the tefillah enthusiastic, did the words of the machzor speak to your heart? Were the other women friendly? Did you end up with a seat behind a pillar?  Did you manage to look the way you want; cool but not ostentatious, original but not bizarre? Did the rabbi speak before the shofar blowing leaving you wondering why you didn’t think more about its significance until you have less than a moment to let it pierce through all the layers of distraction (both the conscious and unconscious kinds?).  

If any of the above answers occupy much of your inner space, then there may be little room for the only answer that is real
“I don’t know. Ask me next year.”
Covid. Surfside. Meiron.
Beautiful weddings. Incredible moments of growth and joy
Sweet ordinary days
Days that may have redefined you, opened up places that were closed, changed things taking you where you never believed you would reach.
You may be wondering why I am writing a belated (and rather guilt provoking) message about a day that has already passed. The reason is twofold (what an archaic word. When was the last time you heard if from someone under 60?)

1. Rosh Hashanah is referred to as “The day the world was born”, but it isn’t. It is the day that the first people were created. Each of you is a world. Your body follows the same pattern as Adam and Chava’s bodies down to the last subatomic particle in your DNA. The place from where Hashem took the earth is the same place where thousands of years later, the alter in the Bais HaMikdash was built. Your soul is in the image of your creator. You can define the world outside your own mini-world. You can elevate it or degrade it. You will be presented with all sorts of new possibilities this coming year. It’s not over till it’s over as Yogi Berra used to say.

 

1. What you do is important. The Jews are .0005 of the world’s population. Our influence in the moral and spiritual realties can’t even be estimated. You make a difference with every response you make. And for that reason, its enormously important for you to realize that you are a significant, beloved, central part of the ongoing picture. You are able to still redefine who you want to be this year. You have time until Yom Kippur to delete the limitations, the painful failures, and the callouses you may have added to your formula for coping with life.

 
Tshuvah is not grim and guilt providing. It brings Hashem back to your life, as you reach out.
Its great! It is the only way to have time reverse. It’s a miracle. Enjoy every precious moment.
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Love,
Tziporah  

Dear friends,
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By the time you receive this email, you will practically be feeling the mixture of inner joy, anticipation, and awe of the moment the shofar blows, the connection you feel to Hashem, and to the people you see in shul, (even if you barely know each other) makes wishing each of them a good and sweet year feel normal instead of socially awkward. Even though at that point, the sweetness of honey is still in your mind and your heart, you can almost feel its sweet delightful flavor on your tongue. 
It’s more than a new year. It is the head of the year that will set the tone for the way you relate to the coming year. A good way to begin is with the realization that noone but Hashem can actually give you a year. It is a wonderful gift. Rabbi Avigdor Miller would tell his students that the best preparation for the new year is looking at the way Hashem has given so much in the past year, and the years before that.
The parshah that is always read at this time of year is Netzavim. It begins by telling you who you are and where you came from “You are standing before Me today…” This isn’t a one-time event in our history, it IS our history, moment by moment, person by person. Each one of us is constantly standing before Hashem. Each person simultaneously remains themselves- individual and unique, and at the same time, part of the whole. The Torah delineates each gradation of Jews from the heads of the people, to the water carriers. Each one is equally part of the whole even though (certainly to the outer eye) they don’t have equally as important functions. Eah person is a miniature version of the nation as a whole. There are parts of you that are more important -the mind, the lungs, the heart, and there are parts of you that are less important – the finger, the toe, the eyelashes. All of the parts, are, however, equally as much a part of the body. 
 
Probably the most extreme example of this division on the basis of function is the “heads” and the feet.  They are both necessary for the body to function in a genuinely human way. You have a mind, but you also have to be able to take your thoughts and aspirations and actually take them someplace. You have to walk your walk. There is a part of you that takes in reality and interprets it, and everything that happens next, depends on your interpretation. The mind is the navigator, and if you don’t let it inform the heart, you may find yourself groping. Your will and the narrative that your mind created about who you are, and what Hashem has planned for you has to eventually get down to your feet, to the part of you that is willing to actually do something.
When I was in seminary in Bnei Brak, things were run differently than they are now. We were expected to take care of ourselves. Other than the rabbis and the teachers, the only staff that I recall was the Aim Bayis, the cook, and, the secretary. We were expected to clean up after ourselves, and when the cook was off for holidays, we were also expected to cook. Back home, as a rather spoiled only child I was used to doing:
Nothing at all! No dishes. No bed making. Nothing…..
The Israeli girls were very patient, and they gave me the skills to get along without an entire staff. One day, when I had kitchen toruanut (duty), one of the girls wrapped up some of the unserved leftovers. When I remarked about it, she said, “I’m going to give it away”. When I asked her more questions about the charity that she would be donating it to, she looked surprised. She was going to give it to one of the beggars who sat on Rabi Akiva Street, Bnei Brak’s main thoroughfare. I was horrified. “You can’t let yourself get involved with him! You don’t know what who he is!”. She was calm as she accepted still another demonstration of how Americans are a different breed. “What’s the worst thing that can happen when I give him the food package?” she asked. “Maybe he won’t want it. Maybe he’ll just throw it away”. “Well, isn’t that what would happen if you don’t give it away? Weren’t you planning to throw it in the garbage? 
A lesson learned. Don’t be afraid of people who have not been given what you have, and what you take for granted
People who have less than you come in many forms. I was just reading a book called a “A Tap on the Shoulder” another well written , well researched biography by Yonason Rosenblum about the life of Rabbi Meir Shuster. Throughout what may be called the Golden Age of teshuva, he was there. He spotted them from across the Kotel Plaza; young travelers who want more than just getting through the day. His opening remark was, “Do you have the time?” which often led to an invitation to hear a class, experience a shiur, or meet a rabbi. He identified those who were spiritually impoverished and were on the lowest rung of the ladder. He introduced them to the spiritual Big Boys, who are on top.  He was relentless, perusing his “prey” wherever he had to go to open an uncertain or reluctant student that something transformational may happen. He lived for making all of the parts come together, all of Hashem’s People accepting Him as King.
Rosh Hashanah is the head of the year - demanding and awesome. You see Hashem evaluating you, not in comparison to some mythic perfect person, but in comparison to who you are, and who you can be. He will commit to giving you whatever it is that you need to continue the journey that you make with your eyes closed, unaware of what the final destination will be, but aware that you are being led by One who loves you.
Have a Shanah Tovah 
Tziporah