Dear friends,

Everything is decaying or dying.

What a positive way to begin the week! Reality is reality: everything we see or touch forces us into confrontation with decay. The third law of thermodynamics, entropy (I know you were all thing about thermodynamics today….), is that everything is slowly dying, heading towards oblivion.
This can lead you to feeling that life is futile. This is an awfully depressing way to view the world, and in fact births two negative results. One is the philosophy of hedonism; do what you can to fill your life with pleasure today, because tomorrow it is all over. The opposite feeling can also take you over. Nothing lasts very long, or has any meaning. This depressing way of thinking leads to a sort of spiritual paralysis which makes it almost impossible to be spiritually ambitious. The laws of ritual purity that are presented in this coming week’s parshah are a response to death in its various forms. This is called tumah, which is the same letters as the word atum, which means opaque. When you are in contact with death in its various forms the meaning of life is hidden by the decaying body with is message of mockery towards everything that is real, once the soul is no longer there. The answer to tumah is taharah, purity, which has the same letters as the word rahat, which means free-flow or fluency. When you reattach yourself to life, with its constant imput of vitality and meaning, you have opened a door that living with mortality closes. The rituals described in the parshah are virtually incomprehensible. The reason is that they don’t work on a physical plane. What makes this emotionally unappealing is that it is the problem of the flow towards oblivion is visible while the solution that the Torah presents takes you into a realm that isn’t one that you can relate to by using your five senses.

Hashem is the G-d of life. The flow of His life-force is constant, and is concealed within everything. Although even things that look totally immobile to us may seem dead (like a stone for instance) everything is alive-the atoms in a stone are in constant motion. That plants are alive is far more evident to the naked eye; they grow and blossom... Animals are still more alive to the eye. They move, see, hear, and have an enormous capacity for acting with great determination to give voice to their drives and instincts. When I was in high school I discovered poetry. Blake’s line,  “Tiger tiger burning bright in the forests of the night, what immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry” opened my heart to the poetry around me. People are far more alike than animals. You can feel deep love, long for meaning, experience harmony and peace that is far beyond what any animal experiences.

Some people are more alive than others. They go beyond the limitations of instinct, petty involvements, and the prison of hunger for every demand your body makes or your imagination can cook up. Only Hashem is unlimited and unchained in the ultimate sense of the world. The laws that tell you how to respond to the reality of being confined to a life in which so much of what you do and see is death-bound is something that only He can tell you. You and I are in the picture of mortality. We can’t see beyond it. One of the great acts of compassion that is inherent to the Torah is that Hashem gave us “chukim” laws that are as they are, and aren’t’ limited by your limitations. The word “chok” means engraved. When a letter is chiseled into a block of stone, it is part of the stone itself. It isn’t like a letter that is written on the stone and can be erased. Hashem told us “this is how it is” on His terms, and gave us access to a bit of life that isn’t defined or challenged by death and entropy.

How’s that for a heavy letter?

In short, that’s why I like the chukim. The kosher laws, shatnez, the whole bunch of them. I know the word a little bit, and I know my mind a bit more. It’s nice to take a vacation from subjectivity and limitations. Just knowing that if I was smarter, I still wouldn’t know all the answers, is very validating. It’s liberating to acknowledge that you aren’t G-d. The only one who could penetrate these laws was Moshe. The reason that he could go where you and I can’t, isn’t because he was smarter (which no doubt he was...), but because everything about his life echoed his humility, and his willingness to do Hashem’s will. Once you are “there” death is far less relevant.

I am getting really excited about my planned trip to kivrei tzadikim in Tammuz. Going to the resting places of people who are still “alive” in the eternal sense is an amazing experience. I just bought a new (at least to me) book by Rav Gamliel Rabinovitch, who I often consult with. His topic is kivrei tzadikim! He explains the unique and “alive’ aspects of the tzadikim who are buried here in E.Y. , their teachings, and what you can grasp from being there. If you are interested (or might be) email [email protected] or call Rachel Greenblatt at 0527608425, or Dvora Glicksman at 08 974 3013. I am enclosing the ad again in case you don’t know what I am talking about.

Love,
Tziporah

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Dear Friends,

When I was a child, I loved curling up with a Sherlock Holmes story. Of course, after you read one the first time, you know the outcome. There is still something wonderful about reliving the process through the eyes of Arthur Conan Doyle’s fictional detective. You could accompany him, share his keen observations, and logical reasoning. First appearing in print in 1887 (in A Study in Scarlet), the character's popularity became so widespread that many people had trouble believing he didn’t actually exist. I personally identified more with Dr. Watson, the character who was Home’s biographer side kick and assistant at their shared quarters at Baker Street. Working with Rabbi Kass, has made this role into something of a lifestyle, although he refrains from saying things like “elementary, Dr. Watson”.

Like everything else in life, developing of keen observation can be used positively or negatively. On one hand, it saves you from the trap of seeing things as they aren’t. On the other hand, it can lead you to thinking that you have seen reality very vividly, when all you see is the surface. You can easily lose the inner reality of what is happening.  

In today’s world, seeing every flaw is seen as a sign of intellectual sophistication. Lashon Hara is by definition communicating using words that are both true and negative (or harmful). It is considered to be one of the most serious sins you can possibly commit. The Talmud compares it to the three cardinal sins of idol worship, adultery, and murder. You may think that not saying everything is whitewashing the truth, and when you don’t “tell it like it is”, you are being foolish, naïve, and repressed. The classic kabalistic/ethical work Reishis Chochma (written by Rav Moshe Cordovero in Tzfat during its golden era) has a chapter on Lashon Hara. It is under the heading “Falsehood”. This is very strange, because by definition, Lashon hara is true. The resolution comes when you begin to examine the concept of truth. It isn’t identical to “verbal accuracy”, or telling it all. You are verbally accurate when you say that the Torah is a book. It isn’t true; the word “book” doesn’t convey what Torah is in essence. When you speak Lashon hara, usually what is happening is you lose the definition of who ther person you are speaking about is on a human level. When you say, “Gertrude never got a degree”, that may be true in the narrow sense of the word. In the broader and deeper sense, is Gertrude (or anyone else for that matter) really defined honestly as someone who didn’t get a degree? Isn’t there more to her story? Why are you making that your title of her biography? You may feel that you are being honest and real (what do you want me to say, that she is a brilliant academic? Puleeze!), when in fact you are being superficial and judgmental. The reason that this issue is so important is that casting the world in a negative light is in direct conflict with your purpose on the planet.
We are here to reveal light.

Last week’s parshah, Shlach, begins when the people demand to “see” Eretz Yisrael before entering. How deeply did they want to go? The spies were handpicked by Moshe, in the hope that the individual nature of each tribe would provide the people with the broader picture, the picture that we call “truth”. Instead, they got an “accurate”, but by no means true picture of what the Land was like. Yes. It was unbelievable fertile. Yes. The people were huge. Yes. The cities were undefended, bearing visible testimony to the fact that they feared no one. Their conclusion was that there is no way it can be conquered.The words were accurate. The missing link was truth.

No one suggested that they try to do win this battle on their own. Where was Hashem in this picture? The war for Eretz Yisrael was not meant to be anything less spectacular than the crossing of the sea, or the fact that they started their days with mann, not cornflakes. The only difference was that this time, Hashem’s presence was going to be concealed by His giving them the privilege of participating with Him in the process. They would fight, and later plant and sow. and they would meet the challenge of finding His light even when they could easily choose to let their own sense of achievement remove Him from their “reality”. Lashon hara against the Land was really Lashon Hara against Hashem Himself. It was denial of His providence, His love for us, and His ability to keep His commitments.

The tragic end of the story is that they “got what they wanted”, they didn’t enter the Land. There were those who tried to enter, but they failed. They were still substituting accuracy for truth. “If it can be conquered, we’ll do it”. They still had only a partial truth, Hashem’s will was not at its core.
This week’s parshah takes things to another place. The story of Korach isn’t about the Jews; it’s about the tragic story of an individual who took many others with him. Korach was a man of brilliant intellect, great wealth, and enormous charisma. He felt that given his lineage and his ability that he would be the one that G-d would appoint as the leader of the Levites. His father was Amram’s brother. Amram’s children, Moshe Aharon and Miriam, held the leadership position. He was the logical “next on line”. Instead, the leadership went to the son of the youngest of Amram’s brothers, Elitzafon ben Uziel. It was inconceivable to him that this kind of “mistake” should be allowed to define the rest of his life. You can’t fit a size 9 foot in a size 8 shoe. The Midrash Ne’elam tells us that had Korach lived up to his potential, there would have been another office opened to him. There would have been a role called the “Levi gadol”, the High Levite, similar to that of the role he never had, the Kohein Gadol. He missed the truth by demanding that it be easy to find, and immediately fulfilling.

What does any of this have to do with you?

It should tell you to be a truth seeker. Find Hashem’s goodness wherever you look. Reveal it. He cares about you, and is involved in your life moment by moment. If you train your eyes to seek Him, you will feel His presence more than you ever thought you would.

One aspect is that He listens to our prayers. Baruch Hashem, Rabbi Chalkowski is back home, and hopefully will be rejoining us in Neve soon. His hospital stay was shorter than expected, for which he thanked all of you. His name is Moshe Mordechai ben Devorah, so keep it up.

Another way of staying in reality is staying inspired by the people of truth in our history. I am planning BEH to take a group of you to kivrei tzadikim in Eretz Yisrael this summer (see 'What's Happening').

Tziporah

Dear friends,
​
Last week was Bnos Avigail’s graduation. Everything worked. The girls were so there in graudation mode, and at the same time so genuinely themselves. Rabbi Refson and Rabbi Kass spoke with their usual mixture of erudition, dry British wit, and absolute sincerity. The real food was good, but the unreal food was much better. There was a chocolate fountain spewing forth milk chocolate conveniently placed alongside marshmallows and barbeque sticks. When it was over, and the girls returned to the dorm to continue taking pictures, crying, and seeing a video that they made, I went on a long walk.

I walked for close to an hour and a half, reviewing the enormous syatta dishmaya (help from Hashem) that we experienced this year.  It was an easy jump from reviewing the year, to reviewing my entire life. Two scenes that flashed back again and again, both disturbing and enriching my thoughts.
The first scene was a replay of the day before graduation. The girls and I went to Rav Gamliel Rabinovitch’s home. The Rav shlita, who is a very well-known and highly regarded scholar (he heads the yeshiva “Shaarei Shamayim”) is known for his availability and the wise advice he gives. He had generously given us some of his time.

His Rebbitzen gave us still more. When we arrived, she spoke to us about tefillah, and how no matter what we experience, that there are always possibilities that Hashem will turn things over, and open doors that we would have assumed to be shut. She spoke about Leah, who ended up being the mother of six of the tribes, including the future kohanim and kings. She then brought it back to the present when she told us about her school chum back in Bnei Brak who never gave up on davening that her husband learn to love Torah, and saw defined results.

All of this happened while we were in the dining room and the Rav was in the adjacent study talking to someone. When he opened the doors that separate the two rooms, I assumed that he would speak to us briefly with words of encouragement and hope, and give us a brachah. Instead, he took out two pictures. One was of his grandfather, a well-known Torah scholar. He told us that his grandfather, an only child, was orphaned at a young age. He was virtually alone in a world that was far harsher than the world we live in today. He turned to Hashem for everything, developed himself, and when he passed away at the age of 95, he had over 1,000 descendants (5 generations!). He then showed us a picture of his parental family. In the sepia photo, he was the baby. “I have a hundred descendants presently” he told us, and shared that they are attending a bris of a grandchild the next day, and the wedding of another grandchild that evening. The reason that he spoke so much about his life was that he wanted the girls to know that “you are the future of untold generations. What you turn yourselves into will go far beyond you”, and that so much depends on both tefillah and what it is that you daven for. He saw the “Forty something friends who are here as four thousand new members of klal Yisrael, and ultimately 40,000.” He then distributed what at first appeared to be small fliers. He invited the girls to write their names, (in the traditional formula of so and so bas so and so) and any small change that they want to make to move forward. It clearly stated that this is not a vow, but a genuine desire to progress. He stipulated that it could even be something temporary. The Rav then collected the papers, and told them that he would not look at them, but would take them with him when he next visits the kivrei tzadikim, and daven for us there. The image of this meeting was so fresh that it resurfaced in my reverie as I walked down the silent streets of Har Nof. Then something else entered. This time the “address” of the thought was something that I had recently learned.

The Talmud says that “Whoever doesn’t bow when saying modim (the prayer of thanks in shmoneh esreh, the silent and most important part of the prayer service), must bow. “If they don’t bow, their spine will turn into a snake seven years after their death”.  Maharal explains this rather cryptic and esoteric piece. This, he tells us, is a veiled reference to the events that took place in Gan Eden. The first human, Adam, and the snake, were the only two creatures that could stand erect (this was before the snake was sentenced to crawl on his belly because of his having enticed Adam to sin). The reason that they could both stand erect, was that they both had a sense of being masters over the rest of creation. This was Adam’s most significant challenge. Is he willing to surrender his desire for mastery to Hashem or not? When Adam sinned by eating the fruit of knowledge of good and evil, it wasn’t about wanting a specific food. It was about wanting to eat it because it was forbidden. It was an endeavor to achieve dominance over his own life, and ultimately of the world, by excluding G-d from any meaningful presence in his choice making process.

Everything that Hashem created has some sort of awareness of Him. The only being that can lock Hashem out, is we humans. The desire to dominate is very human. Hashem made us with the ability to live with the illusion that we are independent. When you die, the illusion is shattered. Reality sets in, and you see how every moment and every breath is a reflection of Hashem’s compassion. Your spine (that part of you that gives you the ability to stand erect, and to feel like you are lord and master of your world), is then “turned into a snake”.

When you bow as you say Modim, you affirm that everything you are, and everything you have, and everything you will ever be comes from one source, Hashem’s love.

The more you review your life, the more beloved you will feel.
Tziporah 

Dear friends,
Last week was Bnos Avigail’s graduation. Everything worked. The girls were so there in graudation mode, and at the same time so genuinely themselves. Rabbi Refson and Rabbi Kass spoke with their usual mixture of erudition, dry British wit, and absolute sincerity. The real food was good, but the unreal food was much better. There was a chocolate fountain spewing forth milk chocolate conveniently placed alongside marshmallows and barbeque sticks. When it was over, and the girls returned to the dorm to continue taking pictures, crying, and seeing a video that they made, I went on a long walk.
I walked for close to an hour and a half, reviewing the enormous syatta dishmaya (help from Hashem) that we experienced this year.  It was an easy jump from reviewing the year, to reviewing my entire life. Two scenes that flashed back again and again, both disturbing and enriching my thoughts.
The first scene was a replay of the day before graduation. The girls and I went to Rav Gamliel Rabinovitch’s home. The Rav shlita, who is a very well-known and highly regarded scholar (he heads the yeshiva “Shaarei Shamayim”) is known for his availability and the wise advice he gives. He had generously given us some of his time.
His Rebbitzen gave us still more. When we arrived, she spoke to us about tefillah, and how no matter what we experience, that there are always possibilities that Hashem will turn things over, and open doors that we would have assumed to be shut. She spoke about Leah, who ended up being the mother of six of the tribes, including the future kohanim and kings. She then brought it back to the present when she told us about her school chum back in Bnei Brak who never gave up on davening that her husband learn to love Torah, and saw defined results.
All of this happened while we were in the dining room and the Rav was in the adjacent study talking to someone. When he opened the doors that separate the two rooms, I assumed that he would speak to us briefly with words of encouragement and hope, and give us a brachah. Instead, he took out two pictures. One was of his grandfather, a well-known Torah scholar. He told us that his grandfather, an only child, was orphaned at a young age. He was virtually alone in a world that was far harsher than the world we live in today. He turned to Hashem for everything, developed himself, and when he passed away at the age of 95, he had over 1,000 descendants (5 generations!). He then showed us a picture of his parental family. In the sepia photo, he was the baby. “I have a hundred descendants presently” he told us, and shared that they are attending a bris of a grandchild the next day, and the wedding of another grandchild that evening. The reason that he spoke so much about his life was that he wanted the girls to know that “you are the future of untold generations. What you turn yourselves into will go far beyond you”, and that so much depends on both tefillah and what it is that you daven for. He saw the “Forty something friends who are here as four thousand new members of klal Yisrael, and ultimately 40,000.” He then distributed what at first appeared to be small fliers. He invited the girls to write their names, (in the traditional formula of so and so bas so and so) and any small change that they want to make to move forward. It clearly stated that this is not a vow, but a genuine desire to progress. He stipulated that it could even be something temporary. The Rav then collected the papers, and told them that he would not look at them, but would take them with him when he next visits the kivrei tzadikim, and daven for us there. The image of this meeting was so fresh that it resurfaced in my reverie as I walked down the silent streets of Har Nof. Then something else entered. This time the “address” of the thought was something that I had recently learned.
The Talmud says that “Whoever doesn’t bow when saying modim (the prayer of thanks in shmoneh esreh, the silent and most important part of the prayer service), must bow. “If they don’t bow, their spine will turn into a snake seven years after their death”.  Maharal explains this rather cryptic and esoteric piece. This, he tells us, is a veiled reference to the events that took place in Gan Eden. The first human, Adam, and the snake, were the only two creatures that could stand erect (this was before the snake was sentenced to crawl on his belly because of his having enticed Adam to sin). The reason that they could both stand erect, was that they both had a sense of being masters over the rest of creation. This was Adam’s most significant challenge. Is he willing to surrender his desire for mastery to Hashem or not? When Adam sinned by eating the fruit of knowledge of good and evil, it wasn’t about wanting a specific food. It was about wanting to eat it because it was forbidden. It was an endeavor to achieve dominance over his own life, and ultimately of the world, by excluding G-d from any meaningful presence in his choice making process.
Everything that Hashem created has some sort of awareness of Him. The only being that can lock Hashem out, is we humans. The desire to dominate is very human. Hashem made us with the ability to live with the illusion that we are independent. When you die, the illusion is shattered. Reality sets in, and you see how every moment and every breath is a reflection of Hashem’s compassion. Your spine (that part of you that gives you the ability to stand erect, and to feel like you are lord and master of your world), is then “turned into a snake”.
When you bow as you say Modim, you affirm that everything you are, and everything you have, and everything you will ever be comes from one source, Hashem’s love.
The more you review your life, the more beloved you will feel.
Tziporah